Guilt of fate

Where do I begin to explore this epic ?
Was it so long ago that it is for me merely a relic ?
Maybe a long time I would have accepted this as ironic

This morning is so different that I am drawn to what once was the fire
The years have no longer made me sensitive enough to anybody’s ire
Could I have entered a time in my life to reflect upon this connection as dire?

The sails of my aspirations are now taking in all your winds pushing me forward
The waters are dangerous around this time of year for the uninitiated, and a reason to stay home for the wise

I have taken wisdom as reason to sail again into the unknown, leaving my inhibitions for the shores of certainty

If only I could capture the eyes that looked right through me, and the arms that held me, for only in that moment in time have I recognized my humanity

I have become the lover within the beloved shedding my armor that was merely my blanket from the cold.  

Within a glance, my life’s achievements, failures and pride were captured deep, deep within your eyes

My path is illuminated with the energy of your spirit, for if I am to continue, I am to give up my guilt of fate and embrace you as a fate of bliss.

We may all get second chances in life, and if this is mine then truly the God has even more love for us than we can possibly conceive

What happens to a man when there are no more inhibitions in his heart ?
When is a women’s smile more than an ego boost, but more of an awakening ?
How can such a potent torrent be kept so hidden for so long ?
The day I came upon you, confusion ruled the day as to the source of this beautiful inspiration ?

The gentle wave that sweeps us deep into the undercurrent of our emotions is what you have become.

Never knowing when the winds of your smile might die down, I am the lover seeking the beloved.

Yet the more I seek you, the deeper I realize you are the glove the hand never knew

For all my blessings, I cannot bet my achievements that you are indeed the saviour of my heart, unless I negated a higher power’s ability to bring us together

We are united by this delicate dance, while our words are simple and express our yearnings in life, our eyes cannot hide the innocence that these emotions manifest upon all.

It is far too simple for us to assume these emotions are renegade and that we never secretly harbored them.

The warmth of your eyes and your vibrations resonating within me, testifies that this is merely the tip of an iceberg representing the life we may capable of.

My heart rejoices at this reunion of souls celebrating life's experiences

A soul that yearns to spread its wings is what I have become

Somewhere in between our dreams and aspirations I got caught up in the whirlwind of life

There are many beautiful aspects to this life that we appreciate, yet none higher than the freedom to do what we love the most

Inspiration comes, as the winds upon the sea moving our vessels to destinations unknown

A yearning deep inside of me is here with me tonight awakening me, rejecting the controlled climate, and wanting to run with the gusts of winter

The desire to free ourselves from our own slavery may be what we all hold on to

Unsure of my compass that moves me across these Oceans, I have closed my eyes and let my energies lead me to what may become

In the simple acts of love, there used to be little pleasures that heighten my sense of gratitude

Introspective of my past, and proud of my present I seek the depths of the future, where I can further grow and feed my consciousness into the potential that I am

Arriving to this day, my comprehension would not carry me
Years have passed thru the valleys and oceans that brought us
Unaware of the time that has run its course
Inquiring within my soul as to the journey that lay ahead
Has life’s challenge brought me to the answers that hid beneath my eyes?
Where are you now in your directions that have lit that path?

Was there a road that could have led me closer to you?
If for a moment, I had had the slightest clue, it may have altered this reunion
In our hearts we may despair at the choices that lead us down this path
How many nights have we yearned to be together for all the wrong reasons?
In those wrongs we have managed to right the sins of the past in to the bliss of today
There is a life somewhere out there where we may both find the peace within
That is the place I pray we may find each other in, if even it was not the same

Tonight I shed my fears, and recognize the strength in your happiness
For if this destiny manifests itself in your companionship or in your distance
A part of me will laugh at the sincerity that life will deal me
The days have surely taught me the bittersweet taste of maturity
In this love I manifest to be with you, I release you from the confines of my ego
Coming to terms with love, is probably the lesson all men must one day confront

My anxiety is vaporizing slowly as this night wears thru the moon
If I am to have you as my lifelong love, I could not refuse you
As the stars illuminate the night, your smile lightens my depths
We could be together for an eternity, for the remainder of days or for the simple moments spent in each other’s company.
Sailing thru the calm waters, the ocean has illustrated the facts softly on the waters
The reflections of what might be, whichever direction the winds blow in the morning
A reflection of you dwells within my eyes, for the gifts of time I will be blessed in receiving.

Stories may have been told
Promises may have been made
Meetings may have been delayed
Feelings may have been swayed

Time never blessed the encounter
Chances never crossed the paths
Planets that never aligned
Hesitation that never left our side

Till one afternoon, clarity was my guest
and my mind put you at rest
while my intuition wanted the best
when your heart was my quest

Curiosity consumed the better part of our emotions
conversations baring our intentions
difficult questions we asked without hesitation
cups of espresso's highs became my sensation
when your eyes asked me when?

I simply basked in the warmth of your presence
and later on that night, the answer came to me
under a full moon, I responded:

When you’re ready...

A smile that sprinkled the air with its lightheartedness
A Feeling that floated the oceans of your heart in the midst of your wilderness
Thrills for the taking, memories for the savoring and the love I wish to be making
My heart is a flower that basks in your warmth and blossoms with your presence
If we are the masters of our destinies, then our hands are tied in eternities
For in your eyes, a lifetime exists of endless possibilities
My friend fate, drizzles me with your laughter whenever I am alone
Is it you that I am supposed to thank, or for my mentor the wonderful Mrs. Patience?
Every day spent waiting is rewarded by your yearning for penance
My life is defined by the ecstasy of your name as long as I am still sane
For when my mind goes, there might not be any regrets left to transpose
I am the farmer sowing the seeds, and your are the rain blessing my deeds

Each time the question begs itself to be answered
The sun rises over my horizon, only to find you pampered
Pampered in this heart, I am no longer sure can be hampered
In this sea of devotion, I must have sank deep into your depths
Without knowing however I may ever find the strength
The strength to recognize the beauty, this life has provided me  in depth
How is it that the moon awakens the deepest part of me in your thoughts
Dreams men seek, I have relegated to simple insecurities
For in your presence, I have seen the humility and appreciation of life
You are the fabric, that man dreams to be sheltered by
If only for one night, I may find your caring soul to protect from the cold
Thank you for showing me the way I wish to grow old

Attraction is my chocolate and you’ve become my sensation
There is an invisible beauty moving through this revelation
Transforming time spent into contemplation
Memories in the making, and vows for the taking
Taj Mahal is a testament of love’s pride
For in the torrents of grief, a great expanse of resources honored love
We contain an incredible ability to love and create masterpieces of affection
For now I must further my contemplation of this devotion
Like an explorer searching for the springs feeding the river.
I must become the keys to this heart I gave grown to consider
How much my heart can contain is the mystery I will uncover
For the fullfillment of love is the union of souls we shall discover

It is of consequence when a full moon makes me laugh like a child again
Maybe it was merely the pressures of a difficult day
or was it your return from the shadows of my heart ?

At first I was not sure if my mind was yielding one of its finer deceptions
But then your pulse came across like a waterfall crashing upon the remnants of a precious stone I once called your smile
Our paths have crossed again, whether by intent or by fate, I might never know.
Living in this moment has never mattered more than this minute we are together, as surely as you are here, these beautiful sixty seconds will eventually depart in to the past.
You are a past, present and future that intoxicates my sanity. 
Whatever wisdom I have, only serves me to appreciate you as a beautiful being.
The smiles you sprinkle into the air between us are a reason to celebrate love in its most innocent form.
Yet maturity is this love’s nutrition, for you are freedom’s mist and I am the cloud you seek comfort within.
Your words are gentle, yet your emotions are storms devastating the past and present.
A fate I will not contemplate, yet its direction I cannot negate

Seeds of attraction you have once again cultivated, nourished by your freedom’s mist.
For now I am simply thankful for this precious moment to experience you........once again.

The closer I move towards the truth, the more sadness approaches me
It is said that "the truth shall set you free" and in its own way,
My freedom is like the Sun rising over the mountains, illuminating the terrain.

The day I woke up and needed you the most, your eyes could not see and your heart could not feel
Now that I value why the truth shall set me free, for the torrents of emotions you've stirred with in me, I have one emotion left in me. One emotion I call patience, and you disguise as love. For in the end patience is the only love I can offer you, while impatience was the only justification on your lips.

Tonite, the moon is bright and my heart is awake. My salvation lies within me, to break free of needs
that no man could satiate. For now I've come across the most beautiful of truths, the truth of conversations, of laughter and of patience.  I feel the sands of uncertainty, jealousy and guilt disolving into the waters I have left behind.

The torrent of emotions you generate are merely the calm before the storm
The sweetest kiss between our lips were merely the spring warmth before the summer
Whatever the Autumn may bring, I have no care for, as the chance to have loved you
was worth every tear I will shed for your absence in this heart I call my home

Tonite, I have stripped my soul of regrets for days I needed more in your presence
For what are sorrows if I cannot merely recollect the beauty of your essence?
My heart is like the desert that many call barren, yet the intelligent call plentiful
Somewhere between your shoulders and neck, I found an oasis of ecstasy

We are on this earth for a time to be together until we are a memory
You are the fullfilment a heart beats for, and a body craves in harmony
These precious moments blessed to be ours have intoxicated me beyond this agony
For yours is a love that I absorb like a Bee to a flower.
My mouth waters at the thoughts of  honey, we have shared in the most tender embraces

Crossing the river every night, you are my guiding light
Navigating the waterways of peoples' insecurities
I find you to be the comfort in sight
Are you my destiny, like the moon so bright ?

The moon radiates my fate
The stars guide my certainty in your intuition
My hopes were cultivated on your fruition

Tonight, I am the wind, and you are the sail
Instead of sailing into your smile, the I have become the drive
Whatever may be said, the heart is the truest compass of all
For I seek to elevate the goodness, you so desparately chase away

The freind has blessed me and made it clear
For now while I confess to you my dear
Let us join our voices and sing our lusts out here
We may never have this beautiful chance to be so near

I confess my helplessness and mortality, yet I follow the directions without fear
At night, I will show you my heart and weep with your tears
In the morning, resolutions I must adhere

Can you hear my confessions by night upon your cheek, for they will reflect a truth few will
contemplate and even fewer will appreciate

This is the love that confessions by night will illuminate

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In the footsteps of this journey, the lover supports my yearnings
Between the strides, a struggle became my learning

The stars illiminate a map for me, yet my eyes can barely make the light
The Day shines bright, as I find my way into the night

What is left of logic, if the heart awakens perceptions invisible by conception?
In this boat of my soul, the two of them build their trust in one another
For neither of them survives without the other.

The ocean has become my mistress as the waves envelope me
The energy within roll me around like my passionate embrace
An embrace so potent, that I have lost my sense of direction in her grace
The highs that waves takes me to are reminiscent of her lips upon my face

It is said that the Ocean will have its way in the end, as will the heart.
The Sun's sinking into the deep blue seas, are my lover's sillohette sinking upon my back
The Sun's rising over the mountains are my hands caressing her shoulders

This embrace has taught me to savor the moments felt, experience the currents of passion and my devote my eyes to the pleasures of her embrace

For what Am I, if the lighhouse of my heart cannot bring me home to you?
Home to you for a candid Conversation from the heart....

In this conversation, our eyes meet
Within the glances, I feel the need
Is this your acceptance of compassion ?
Does my message resonate within the flowers of your heart ?
I have known the heart to speak
and the eyes to deceive
Your glances are soothing winds filling the sails of my soul
Yet your eyes, are the sweetest chocolate, sprinkled with deception

They say energy is transferred, never created or lost.
In the shadows of my mind, you replenish the light within
When a star fades away, and one night is discovered to shine again
A momentary joy overcomes my existence
For in this moment in time, the waterfalls of your eyes heal the desert
and within this desert a flower blooms, simply from the waterfalls of your eyes...

Somewhere between a sleepless night and fatigue
My heart awoke from the sleep of societys' chains
It seems that in midst of this massive intrigue,
A voice within me yearned to be heard without a sound
While we pass our days in frustration of our self-deception
I have arrived at answers that have plagued this night, like so many before it
without exception
Tonight, all notions of sleep have left me, as the secrets are slowly unlocked
Maybe true companionship is in finding truths
Truths that burst upon the ground like a spring finding it’s way above ground
In ignoring your voice, I lost my way and forgot the joys of the wind beneath my wings
In knowing our true selves, there is a path to true serenity amidst the fog of Kings.
My heart you are the bridge between my mind and reality. 

You are a feeling of togetherness
In your energy I feel the happiness
I cannot understand you or know you
but perceive the history of a lifetime together
You are the subtle wave that caresses the sand
yet your touch trembles the mightiest hand
The energy of your existence is a reason to smile
If my blessing is for our paths to cross for a brief point in time, then may I forever be thankful for the ecstasy you have brought upon my mind.
Sometimes the most beautiful memories are brief moments in time.  Yet this time I dare to tempt fate and follow a soft instinct for the sake of your smile
Thank you for a past I do not know, a future I might not discover and for the beautiful present I have discovered in the presence of your subtle undertones
In a split second, in the deepness of your eyes, I have enjoyed an eternity like no other.

In this Oasis of Dreams, my hearts desires yearn for more
The pleasures of life appear before my eyes across this shore
Partake in them, I cannot as my senses steer me away
With all my sincerity I swim against the tides of shallow waters, not knowing when my strength will fail me.

I have opened my heart to you in a simple act of devotion, yet I am laughed at for my simplicity.  In this sincerity, I find my will. My will is the Vehicle of this passion.  This passion is my hopes and aspiration to reach out, reach out and feel the beauty that is humanity.  Maybe the fast, is merely a training ground for the patience I must nurture.  

My blessing is this heart that will not give up, nor will it give in.  Someone, somewhere thought this was the sin, while I found it as the gift. No more, will my fears haunt me down the wrong path.  For what is my worth, if I cannot live with this voice within?

Maybe it is in the heat of moments when we truly discover where inner beauty grows.  For now, my thirst is merely a guiding light to the road out of sin.

At which point is the innocence of a simple conversation transformed?
Is there an inflection point when the true depths of our emotions are uncovered?

In these conversations, I have found the child within desperately seeking its expression without repression. Slowly, thru simple coincidences truths started appearing from the fog.
You're eyes have welcomed me deep within to discover secrets buried long ago, I tread ever so carefully. My care is fueled a need to cherish this faith you have placed within me.

I do not know if it is guilt I feel or an interpretation of emotions long suppressed by your sorrows.  While the years have been kind enough to teach me the difference between the stare of romance and that of showing me your true self confidence and insecurity, I am haunted by a split second gaze we shared, when all became apparent.

You took me into a desert where rivers once flowed, yet the arid cruelty of human nature has left you bare and dry.  Now all that remains are the scars where the waters once flowed freely. These waters nourished you, and bridges of trust allowed you to cross them.  But today, we have found the deepest well of all, where the eternal fountains of recovery can bring you back. All in a split second, when our eyes couldn't hide...

Years at sea have taught me a simple act of humility.
This humility fills my sails all the way, as my bows cut thru the seas.
Across the seas my journey continues. In this moment of calm, I stop for a moment
In this moment, I take in a deep breath of air to appreciate the motions of this journey.

Captain of this ship I am, yet humility is my sacred lover, as I never wish to leave her side while I beg the Sun of Envy never to rise across my horizons.  My pride dances around me with joy, unable to contain itself within this restless soul.
For now the Moon lights my way and the stars guide my direction.

When love seems to have become a mist in the air that is barely noticable, it manifests itself again from the past. The love of a freindship only fuels my desire to care and cherish those I care about without crossing into a land of misfortunate actions.

My freinds all around, this is for all of you that have shown your compassion and support for me along the years. I am humbled by your love and faith in me. Mistakes I've made along the way, and I've begged your forgiveness. You have all shown your brighter side and come back in to my life.  Now in this moment of serenity, I count my assets not in monetary terms but in the wonderful people that have been on my journeys and the wisdom to bid farewell to misguided souls.

The essence of love and freindship is taking on a new meaning now; The beauty of it all accumulates as tears in my eyes like a morning dew upon a flower.

Many might call your existance insignificant
Yet you generate torrents of beautiful emotions
In the morning, you point me to a beautifal way
In the Afternoon, you can ease the pressures of the day
and in the evenings, the heart opens up to the scenarios
emancipated by your flow of positive energy

For in that smile of yours, you've liberated my senses
from inconsequential matters
Your actions are that of a true freind illuminating the journey
While the journey can take us far and wide, your essense is never
nullified.
May your presence shine like the stars above, for everyone you care to bless
in that simple smile, that lifts the heaviest of burdens...

Repressed memories they could not be called,
as the knowledge lay within for a very long
Now that humanity has digressed so far
I cannot claim ignorance in this castle of thoughts
A castle of smoke and mirrors has become the medium of life

My faith brought you to my attention
Fathoming the true nature of your intentions
Your intentions can sink a civilization, while
the common man's aspirations lay in your manifestation

When decency and sincerety bloomed, I cannot remember.
Somewhere among the clouds and the bastions of innocence
I've rediscovered the road back to a heart that spoke gently
Could this be the end of time as we currently know it ?
Or is it the end of an era?

You & I will laugh and cry at the good memories we've had
Express our shame for being quiet among the blizzards of injustice.
My fears have now been shed, as I've recognized my mortality.
This is the mortality of understanding where we came from and where we are going
This time we are given, I want to spend in being unselfish and sprinkling love to those we come in contact with

Whether it is a premonition or mere hullucinations of my state of mind,
the vibrations speak of a different direction.
A direction that would awaken senses numb with the aspirations of the day
Now, that my heart and mind are together again
My only instruments are love and sincerety to my fellow brothers and sisters all around.

The captain had finally made a decision to set sail as a light breeze finally picked up. For weeks the "Midnight Whisper" was stuck without a single breeze to take her back home. Years of experience had taught the captain that not all breezes turned into the winds for the return home.  In his heart he was not convinced that this trip would take him straight home.  Yet the restlesness of the crew and his desire to return back to the man he was, kept edging him on.

As the ship made her way out of Ohana bay, moods were high and laughter filled the air. Not wanting to alarm his officers, the captain maintained his composure, yet his heart was by now screaming at him to wait yet another week or two for a more solid wind to pick up.  He knew very well the dangers of being lost at sea, when the sight of no land would torment the bravest of men's hearts. It's almost like losing the one you love without a single explanation, only this time there was no sight of land, no familiar smells of home.  The journey now was in its final hour, for he needed to shine as a beacon of hope for the souls that the "Midnight Whisper" carried into the night.

-excerpt from "Ocean's Apart"

Long overdue is my thanks to you
Throughout the years your messages were always true
Now that the Sun and Moon are approaching noon.
I have taken a moment to reflect upon the nature that motivates you

For many a night you communicated so many truths.
While I spent sleepless nights wondering what you meant.
As the truth always shines, you have illuminated my way.
Throughout the darker chapters of being astray.

May I thank you, as I thank the Almighty
You are my intuition,
The Intuition that has saved me again and again
The simple truth I've learned is to listen to you without restrain

It must have happened in the most ordinary of ways

Awakening to the normal sounds of the grey, cold winter day

Where a world separated us away

My heart could not even finds its way

When the road back to you was on a misguided way

That was the moment when the lack of sunshine awakened me

The awakening was not about losing you, but forever finding us

For in that eternity, discovery was upon my intuition.

That was a discovery I had longed for, and now it was in fruition

It was the simplest notion that reminded me of the hearts contractions.

In the Spring my heart may have been full of your passion

Yet now in the cold, cold winter nights you stole my heart without ransom

The light illuminated my consciousness of choices made.

You are my choice whether my heart expanded or contracted without reason

For the partnership, we started would not be extinguished but seasoned

The day I fell out of love with you, yet started upon the path of true embrace

Forever and a day, you are my partner in grace

Somewhere between a sunrise and high noon we walked amongst the shadows.
While our eye's feasted on nature's beauty, we were blinded.
While our ears sampled the sweetest sounds and words, the insincerity was deafening.
While our noses where intoxicated by the aromas of Jasmine, Gardenia and Lavender, our senses were drowning.

While the delicacies of home filled the table, our appetites were suppressed.

It must have been that moment when I panicked.
In my panic, enlightenment tapped me gently on the shoulder.
Scared of what was next to arrive, I could not turn around
The feeling of panic and the cool embrace of enlightenment
must have finally opened my eyes to the illusions we painted once upon a time.
It was a surreal moment of truth when the veils where lifted, and my eyes slowly started adjusting to the light, after it's long absence.
Falling through this light I was, overjoyed by your gift.
Now that the reality began to take hold, my heart slowed down from its rush.
These gifts you shower me with cleanse my soul from the traps others thought had captured my spirit.

How I am supposed to reciprocate this kindness? I do not know.
Where ever fate may show, you have me as a friend in kind.

Higher powers guided us through the afternoon as we continued, yet the warmth of the day, drew a cold sweat upon our foreheads.
  In these vulnerable times, where aspirations raped our dreams, and thus created illegitimate illusions.
Appreciation has become our bond. Lies have become our past, gratitude has enveloped our future, where illusions drown for once, and for all.

At a distant place, where you and I may have once visited,
an old man sat at the waters edge observing the rising sun
In him the streams of serenity flowed freely, as each breath
was an exercise in appreciation.
This was not about physical elements.
It was a radiance from within, where a soul was content in its state
Where desires, were mere passing thoughts and not the forests within.

The old man had finally separated his burdens from his mind.
Where does the purpose lie, in reflecting on events outside our realm ?
In seeking the connection, he realizes without communication, he is alone.
In understanding his blessings, he feels the warmth of a higher power.
In separating his thoughts from envy, he is able to discover a beauty within.

This is the beauty that we can tap into if we seek it as an end and not the means.
For what could the means provide us, if the end remains the same ?
This old man is the fortunate one, for he was not the gladiator that won.
He respected the virtues of time and nurtured patience like a mother cares for her young.

Maybe my visit with this old man, in this beautiful place might sprinkle serenity upon me.
Or maybe my sunrise is the journey, that awaits me at my water's edge.